Should I raise my child to be bilingual? 6 questions to help you determine your parenting goal.

Should I raise my child to be bilingual?

Parents face many major parenting questions. For 2nd generation immigrant parents, there is a question that you will face early on, “should I raise my child to be bilingual?”

As you get older, you may felt that you squandered the opportunity to learn the language that your parent speak. Now you have your own child, you wonder if you should raise your child to be bilingual, so they don’t have the same regret as you. You may also think that being bilingual could offer a lot of benefit and opportunity for your child. At the same time, you live in an English-speaking country where the predominant language is English. You may also be worried that if your child spend so much time learning a second language, your child may be behind in learning the English language. It isn’t easy to make a decision, and it can be really frustrating to determine what is right for your family. The worst cast scenario is that you give up making that decision and sit back to see how things turn out. And one day, you wake up and realize it is too late to do anything for your child.

Figuring out the answer to, “should I raise my child to be bilingual” is challenging and what makes it even harder is that every one has a different opinion on what is the right answer.

Looking for the “right answer” may lead you to discover everyone’s opinion has a flaw or it doesn’t seem to work for your family. The best answer to the question is the answer that best help you get closer to your parenting goal in the area of language.

If you know where you are going, then you can move towards it.

If you know your goal, then you can make decisions and execute actions that get you closer to your goal.

Before you determine what is the best for your child, you must first determine your parenting goal. Answering the question, “what do I want for my child when my child becomes an adult?”

Here are 6 questions that can help you determine your parenting goal for your child’s language development

Question 1: What relationship do you want your child to have with their grandparents?

An important function of language is to build relationship between individuals. You do not exist in isolation, so you need language to help you communicate and connect with others. What advantage would your child have to connect with their grandparents if they are bilingual? As a second generation parent, you serve as a bridge between your child and their grandparents. When you are able to solidify the relationship you want your child to have with your parents, then deciding if your child should e bilingual would be easier to answer.

Some grandparents may only speak the native language or very little English. If you want your child to have a closer relationship with the grandparents, then having your child be bilingual may be an advantage. On the other hand, if the grandparents are comfortable with English, the need for the child to be bilingual become less important.

Being bilingual may help your children build better relationships with their grandparents, but it is not a requirement. There are other ways to build relationship without the language.

Question 2: What relationship do you want your child to have with you and/or your parents’ country of origin?

Knowing where you come from can play a significant role in identity development. Same with your child. If your child has a better understanding of where you or your parents come from, they are more likely to feel confident in exploring their identity. At the same time, language is not necessary to learn someone’s culture. It will help, but it is not the only way.

The ability to speak the native language would help your child get around the country of origin more quickly and understand the nuances of your story and your parents’s story. It may even inspire your child to move there one day. However, there are other ways to become more familiar with your country of origin.

Technology brought more access to language, and with that, the ability to access information that was not available before. Technology can help your child learn the tools, and even l translate text and speech live while you are traveling abroad.

Being bilingual may enhance the experience, but it is not the only way for your child to experience you and/or your parents’ country of origin.

Question 3: What is your child’s level of interest in learning a language?

Children have different level of interest when it moves to learning a language. Although interest may develop faster when a child is expose to a new language at an earlier age, some children are simply not interested in learning a new language.

Some children are fascinated by language, oral or written. Some children find certain written language beautiful while other children enjoy the sound that certain language makes. These children are more likely to learn a new language with a lot of motivation and less resistance.

At the same time, there are children who are less interested in language because they are more interested in something else. In these cases, children may have more resistance towards learning a language or they put up with learning a new language because they don’t want to disappoint the parents or fear of getting punished by the parents. The resentment may even cause children to have issues in learning other subjects.

Knowing your child’s level of interest in learning a language will also help you determine if your child should be bilingual or not.

Question 4: How much effort are you willing to put in?

Helping your child to be bilingual is an investment. It requires you to put in effort to create an environment that will help your child to become bilingual, and it requires you to work with your child through your child’s resistance.

Learning a new language is hard because language is a communication tool. A tool has to be used in order to be useful. If a child learns a language and never has a chance to use it, then the tool is irrelevant and not helpful. So to help a child value language as a tool, you have to create an environment where the language is necessary. This may mean that you speak the language at home, continuously ask your relatives to speak the language when they are around your child, and put your child in an environment where they can practice the language. Helping your child to be bilingual requires you to be intentional. Otherwise, they will use the dominant language because it is easier to communicate. Are you willing to put in the effort to help your child to become bilingual?

Question 5: What resources are available to you?

Your friend’s advice might not be the best for you because no two situations are alike. Each family has its own set of circumstances, unique resources, and limitations. To name a few,

• Some families have grandparents living with them.

• Some families have many relatives.

• Some families have close friends who speak Chinese.

• Some families live in a neighborhood with a high percentage of Chinese immigrants.

• Some families go to a Chinese immigrant church.

• Some families have the resources to hire Chinese tutors and Chinese babysitters.

These different factors contribute to the amount of exposure your child has with the language. The more exposure your child has, the more likely your child will pick up the language. The less resources you have, the more effort you will need to put into your child’s language development if you want your child to be bilingual.

Question 6: What kind of relationship do you want with your children when they are 18?

Once your child reaches 18 years old, they are considered an adult and begin to transition out of the home. They might go to a 4 years university that’s far from home. As they grow more into their adulthood, the more you will need to rely on their willingness and desire to come home and spend time with you. What relationship will encourage your child to come home without you asking them? A warm and loving one. A relationship where your child feel connected to you.

How does this questions help me determine my parenting goal for language development?

I am glad you ask that. Knowing the type of relationship you want to have when your child is become an adult will inform you how to engage your child’s interest in learning the language. It helps you to determine how much you want to push your child to learn a language or force them to speak Chinese with their grandparents.

When parents are too fixated on making sure their child acquire that language, they forget to build a good relationship with their children.

There are so many decisions that a parent must make while parenting their children. If you take the time to imagine your child becoming an adult, and determine your parenting goal, you will have an easier time making decisions because you know where you are going, and you can always adjust towards your goal if the goal is clear.