10 Questions to help your child think better.

With an advance in technology and more tools being introduced to the world, I couldn’t help but wonder how we will help the next generation become better thinkers. 

Previously, I shared the benefit and considerations of Artificial Intelligence (AI) writers, and one of the considerations is critical thinking. How will AI impact a person’s critical thinking ability, analyzing data, synthesizing information, and composing a well-thought-out argument? Especially if AI can help you write cohesive essays or blog posts. 

Many parents have shared that they do not want to sit idly by while their children surrender more opportunities to think critically about technology. They wanted to take action. So I offered 7 tips to help children develop critical thinking skills at each stage of development. 

These tips are different tools in your toolbox that you can use in a variety of situations. In this blog post, I want to share ten questions that helped children of different ages to think better. These questions challenge the children to think harder than you. These questions empower children to become better thinkers. These questions give permission to children to practice thinking without the fear of judgment. I hope you find them useful in your conversations with your child. 

Question 1: What is on your mind? 

This is a very open-ended question, and it invites your child to share whatever it is on their mind. Be ready, if they want to share, they will jump from topic to topic, and you might not even know where these thoughts come from. Only ask this question when you have the time to listen to them. If you ask them and don’t have the time to listen to them, they will know that you aren’t serious about listening to their mind. 

Alternatively, you can ask, “what is on your heart?” this question engages the child to think about their feelings. You might hear how your child feels about a certain situation. 

Question 2: What else do you want to say about _____? 

After your child has said something on their mind or heart, you will follow up with, “what else do you want to say about ____?” This open-ended question allows your child to say more about the topic. Don’t rush into helping them with the topic or share your opinion. Otherwise, they are likely to copy your opinion without having the opportunity to think through it independently. Don’t rob them of the opportunity to think more deeply about a topic that interests them. 

Question 3: What else? 

This is a really powerful question. This question communicates to your child that you care about what else they have to say about the topic or other topics that might interest them. You are also stretching them to think more broadly. They might think they have said everything they wanted, but what if there is more that they aren’t even aware of yet? By asking, “What else” you are inviting them to dig deeper. 

Question 4: How do you feel about that? 

This question helps your child share how an event has impacted them personally. You are helping them notice the feeling inside them when they encounter something. They can find the reason that triggered their feeling and use that awareness to help them understand their experiences better. At the same time, you are creating space and validating their feelings toward an event that occurred in their lives. 

Question 5: What is going on inside of you? 

Similar to the “how do you feel about that?” question, This question helps the child notice what else is happening to them. Sometimes changes are physiological, so maybe they feel nervous and have sweaty hands or upset stomachs. In addition to naming their feelings, they can also notice how their feelings impact them physically. This question helps the child generate awareness. 

Question 6: What can you do about that? 

Sometimes your child shares something with you because they have gotten into a bind or gotten themselves in trouble. Instead of taking care of things for them, you ask them this question; you invite them to change the situation proactively. They might come up with some ideas to help them regulate their emotions or creative solutions to their problems. Let them feel their feelings and do something about it. It also communicates that you trust them to act. 

Question 6: What is the best/worst outcome if you do that? 

This question is more for older children or teenagers with enough life experiences to know that similar experiences bring similar consequences. So they can begin to think abstractly and imagine a decision’s best and worst outcomes. This question helps them to see the range of options available to their children. This question allows your child to consider the spectrum rather than opposites. 

Question 7: What will you do about that? 

If the child has identified a problem, let them try solving it. This question gives the children the will and motivation to act on it because they know they can do something about the situation. They have more confidence because you challenge them to think about the future.  

Question 8: Of all the options, which would not work for you?

I usually save this question until the children/staff/parents have thought through all the options 1-7. And they assess what they can and can not do. They will begin to find their limit, so they have to be wise and think through which ideas would work most of the time with the most successful story & data. It is harder to say no when you position yourself as someone determined to see this go forward, so you ask a question that would eliminate possibilities that are not feasible. Then you ask them to think about their strength and talents, and they can identify what works for them and what don’t. 

Question 9: What do you need from me specifically?

This question helps the child formulate their plan and trains them to ask for help. Everyone needs help in all stages of life. So allow them to think through what they will do and what they want you to do. By asking “specifically,” the children are more likely to think through the details and give you a list of achievable requests quickly. You are more likely to view as the person who helps without having to do a lot. 

Question 10: How confident are you with your plan? 

This question allows the children to assess their ability to carry out their plans. They are thinking about their strength, their skillset, and how practical their plans are. If they are confident, send them out to solve their problems. 

If you have younger children, you might be skeptical about these questions. If you ask these questions with much curiosity, you might be surprised by their answers. 3 or 4 years olds can tell you what is on their mind and what they want to do about it. At times, they might need some help with some ideas. So you can ask them, “would you like some ideas?” If they say yes, go ahead and give them two ideas. Then ask them, “what do you think about these ideas?” Then let them think about which idea is better and continue to listen to what they want to do next. 

Children have many ideas and so much to say because they think. Help them think better by asking better questions regularly.